I’ve been eyeing the WordPress app on my phone for weeks. This has been a busy winter. Way busier than anticipated. I have been working hard at my other career – teaching – and I’m happy to say that I’m getting used to the routine – or lack of it, considering I still have no actual place to call home. I am taking a much needed rest this weekend and the kitties and I are relishing some quality time together. The vet told me that I’d have to groom them every single day and that’s the only way to keep the mats at bay. At least once a day. I feel so guilty but at the moment that’s simply not possible. I can only do my best.
I’ve moved up on the housing list, but it’s still a ways to go. I wonder how they will cope with going from being country cats to living indoors only? I wouldn’t even consider moving them until I have my own postal address and key. I don’t think Brownie would mind that much, but I’d feel awful if anything happened to them outside in the city and I don’t think Queenie would tolerate being indoor-only. Although she might surprise me, if she was faced with a life of fancy food, beds, litter boxes and twice-daily grooming!
Little Ruby told me the other day that she thought Gandalf was ‘probably dead by now’ – such candour and stoic wisdom always to be found in the mouths of the young. She is 9 now and she had already forgotten Gandalf’s name. I still find it hard to believe it’s nearly two years since he went missing. I got a lump in my throat when I went to collect Ruby from school the other day; it brought back memories of searching the neighbourhood for his furry self.
Ironically that cat-hunt led me to the man who introduced me to the HAP Homeless services. It’s been an arduous and thankless task trying to find a safe, clean place to rest my bones at night in the city but at least there are some agencies purporting to help. A lot of landlords it seems, are not willing to register their premises with the PRTB as a lot of them are not paying taxes. I’ve tried more or less everything I could think of and staying positive is top of the list, though not always easy, especially when I am constantly having to monitor my behaviour to fit in with other people’s expectations in their space, constantly exhausted and anxiety has become almost a way of life. Next week I am going to visit a city councillor who helped a friend of mine before, my friend was homeless for a while and this guy helped me sort himself out with a place.
I would be lost without my friend, he’s just been a lifesaver, helping me as much as or more than an angel could, but this situation simply can’t go on. My health is suffering too now due to the ongoing situation, much as I hate to admit it.
I swear when I am homed and housed, I will help as many people as I can, many others are in this situation. I try to give something to charity every month, even just 20 euro. Whether it be mental health, homeless services or animal shelters – the poor furries who have been dumped or made homeless due to landlord’s demands is absolutely heartbreaking. I have performed at many charity events around the city for the disenfranchised and voiceless.
Next weekend there is a march / demonstration in the city to demand proper attention is brought to this ongoing both tragic and disgraceful issue of the lack accommodation in the city by the powers that be. Walking around and seeing these fancy new ‘student-only’ accommodation blocks is actually chilling. It makes me think of 1984. Get people into institutions, keep them fit and healthy going to the gym, not partying, and definitely not thinking for themselves. Is this a build-up to a new war? I really hope the new level of awareness that the internet has brought around can at least give us a semblence of balance otherwise us poets will have to go deeper underground. I still believe the revolution must be peaceful, in spite of – or because of the current status quo. And I still believe it starts within, so that’s why today, it’s time for me to rest and recuperate after several crazy weeks and to count my blessings, which are many, and about to expand beyond happiness into blissful joy!
In spite of what may seem as pessimistic thoughts, I really do work with the Law of Attraction. I believe in better things. However, I take no creed without keeping an open mind, and that tells me to not ignore the current reality, despite what many teachers or proponents might say. If I don’t acknowledge what is, that is not acceptable, then how can I start to make it better, or change it, for the better??!
Answers on a postcard, always expanding my knowledge…enjoying debate and questioning….peace out :0)
Brownie (top)
Queenie (below)
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